Chinese Pirates

The night before the negotiation meeting I had difficulty sleeping. I kept waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat thinking of things I could say and ways in which they should be said. I was feeling out of my element. I’ve only been in this country five months and I have an enormous amount to learn about the culture and how businesses, schools and negotiations are run. I did not want to unnecessarily upset Mr. Business Man and, of course, I wanted a happy ending. That was a lot of wants for a person who was wrong to give less than a three-month notice. B. Man certainly had that on his side. I worried and hoped that he’d rather not have a teacher, no matter how much he liked the way she taught, unhappy at the school and thought that was perhaps my best point.

About 10:00 a.m. Chinese Grandmother called to say one more time with great feeling and emphasis that he had been meeting at the school the previous evening with B. Man and the most important thing to do was to cancel our meeting today, cancel my contract with the other school and simply stay put. He made me all manner of promises about my future vacations, how he would be making decisions and I would know at least one month in advance when I needed to make plane reservations so that I could travel more.

As kind and as earnest as his words were, the reality was that Fashion Plate was still very much in control of the school. Grandmother didn’t have the confidence to stick up for anyone. I wanted to believe what he said, but the fact was that unless he chose to act differently, he was essentially powerless. He had also lied to me many times in the past, especially when he wanted something from me And, he was also his bosses’ agent and would likely say anything to avoid this controversial meeting.

In Chinese culture, if you don’t stick up for yourself, it is easy to be taken advantage of, and I was determined not to have that happen. I decided to play on his heart-strings instead of sounding ungrateful or difficult.

“Grandmother,” I said, “I know there are big changes coming to the school after our meeting with B. Man and I appreciate them. I also know that you both want me to stay and I can appreciate that too,” I said gently.

He interrupted me to remind me that it wasn’t just B. Man and himself. I was deeply loved by the staff who enjoyed the way I taught classes. The students and their parents adored me. He went on to say that the entire atmosphere at the school had changed when I arrived. Everyone had become that much more friendly because I was friendly. They had become more helpful because I was helpful to them. More students had come to the school because of who I am as a person and that had made B. Man happy because the school was now making money. It had been in the red until I arrived.

My heart swelled. I genuinely appreciated all the good things he had to say. I believe he was even being honest to at least some degree. I was flattered. If I had been 23 or even 35, I might not have had the strength to leave. It takes a lot of practice and nerve to think of yourself first; to understand what you need as a human being and to seek that out. Some people might call that being selfish, but I believe that I gave the first 22 years of my life doing mostly what my biological family wanted by going to college, getting my degree, behaving in ways that would make them proud.

Then I had gotten married happily at 23 and spent the next 24 years of my life dedicating my work and my actions to that of my husband and my two children. When the marriage ended, my ex husband disappeared and I took sole responsibility for my two teenagers. Almost all my decisions were based on their needs. I believed firmly that was my job as a single parent – to be there in every possible way for both my children.

Now, with my children’s blessings, I was out in the world having an adventure of my own choosing and I needed to do it for me; not for a school, not because I felt indebted to my boss. The reality was, I’d found another job that said they would pay me to go home and see my children for at least one month every year. That was the most important thing of all. I told Chinese Grandmother this.

He softened. He has a grown daughter who is married and living in Shanghai. She is about the same age as my own daughter who is also married. He feels the same way about her that I do about Kate. He said that he understood.

With that issue temporarily settled, the conversation calmed until he told me that Mr. Business Man had a message for me before the meeting. If I was really intent upon leaving, I would be required to work the full three months of notice time. He told me that since this was a good job opportunity, I could be sure that I would find other jobs like this one. He was sorry that I would not be able to take this job, but I could be happy knowing that I was doing my duty to Shane School. He ended his words with this sentence.

“Don’t you think that duty is important? Don’t you think that you will feel better knowing that what you did was right?” he asked.

I took a big deep breath. I was silent for a moment. He suggested that I must be very sad about losing this job, but there was a note of joy in his voice as he truly believed he’d been able to get the best of me. I could understand his perspective.

What really galled me was that during these entire negotiations, there was not once an acknowledgement that the school had any culpability in my wanting to leave. I was being made out to be the bad guy at every turn. Apparently they felt that they could do whatever they wanted no matter the contractual facts. The Home Office had been clear with me in my belief that the school was negligent on many fronts in terms of how their employees were being treated. They wanted what they wanted and they were determined to get it no matter the cost.

“Actually,” I said slowly, “I have another plan.”

I told him how difficult it was working for Fashion Plate. I repeated many of the things that I had told B. Man the day before about the troubles in the school, and I told him that I had worked out the notification issue with the home office last night.

“Mr. Business Man has a choice to make today,” I said cautiously, “I can either leave next week for a new job at a Shane School in Xian, or I can give you my 30 days notice and I can leave on February 4^th. I am unhappy enough in my work that if I am forced to finish out my 3 month notice, I will do it in another school. Either way – I leave. It’s up to Mr. Business Man which way he would rather have it work,” I said.

There was silence on the line; a very long silence.

“Grandmother?” I said, “are you still there?”

“Who said this to you?” he demanded, “who at the Home Office said this to you and why?” he asked.

I explained what had happened, that I knew B. Man had called the home office and that someone had gotten back to me and apologized for giving me bad information about being able to give a 30 days notice. I also apologized and took full responsibility for not giving them the 3 months notice. I told him that I understood why B. Man wanted three months notice, and I also reminded him that we are the only Shane School with that requirement. All of the other Shane contracts only require 30 days notice of an intent to leave, and I thought that was reasonable.

“This was wrong of me,” I said, “and even though they gave me bad information, I take full responsibility for not giving you the contractual notice time.”

“And, I also want B. Man to understand that I never would have ever looked for another job if my vacation hadn’t been cancelled. He needs to realize that when you take a foreigner’s vacation away, good people will leave the school,” I said. It takes two to have an argument. It would help me greatly to hear him take at least some responsibility in my leaving; that I was responding to how I had been treated more than anything else. He and Fashion Plate needed to understand this.”

I went on to explain that the staff was still upset about this and that it was entirely possible that more people would be resigning.

“I would suggest,” I said, “that Mr. Business Man and I settle things nicely and with kindness as I believe the rest of the staff will be watching how I am being treated. This might make a difference in whether they decide to stay at this school or not. Please do not underestimate how they feel about this issue. It is not just me who is unhappy working at our school.”

Grandmother was calm and quiet.

“I will call him and let him know this new information,” he said. “I will call you back later.”

I was relieved. I really did feel badly about not having given the proper notice. This part of the difficulty was of my own making. Still, I had a feeling that no matter when I left or how I did it, because Mr. Business Man was making money, there was an excellent chance the same thing would have happened. I can imagine that no matter how much to the letter I followed the exit procedure, he would have found a way to try to rope me into staying longer.

I also thought about the fact that some of it was Fashion Plate’s making too. There are consequences to acting in the manner in which she had. I had heard no one take responsibility for that. Every time I spoke about the vacation and how the staff had been treated, they had somehow tried to turn it all back on me. I was too sensitive. I was the only person to complain. I should know that in China administrations can decide what they want to do, employees have no rights. The contract was just a piece of paper, they could do what they wanted when they wanted.

Of course the other foreign teacher and I felt very differently about this, and the Chinese staff had not spoken up only because they could lose their jobs. I was in a much better position to negotiate than they were, and they are my friends so I was willing to speak up for them.

Then there was the history of the place and the legendary stories about how Mr. Business Man and Ms. Fashion Plate had conducted themselves with the Home Office. I had been told during my training there that they have been so stubborn, so mean, and so demanding that none of the staff there are willing to take their calls anymore. The Home Office had sent out people to show them how to set up the school effectively. They ignored all their advise.

There are also rules about how much the teacher’s assistants should be paid and how they should be treated, almost all of which had been ignored. In an effort to assist my friends, I had let the Chinese person in charge of the rules and regulations for all Chinese staff hired for the Shane Schools that in my school, if a student didn’t sign up for the next class the T.A’s pay was docked. She was shocked and angered to hear this.

After my discussions in Shanghai, I was told that she placed a call to Fashion Plate who told her basically to bugger off, that she could do whatever she pleased with her Chinese staff. Meanwhile, the Academic Manager (who is British) called Business Man and told him that there were serious issues in his school and that he would like to help him fix them. He offered lots of assistance to him and reminded him that if he didn’t follow the rules, he could lose the franchise at the next year’s contract negotiations.

I was told Mr. Business Man hung up on him after he stated, “There are no problems in my school.”

When the academic manager called me a few weeks later, he told me that there was nothing else he could do.

“If he isn’t willing to listen to the Home Office, he will find out that he is unable to keep any foreign teachers. In 18 months he’s hired 6 and so far he’s lost 5. I’m guessing that Nick won’t stand this too much longer either, so he’ll have no teachers. Maybe then he’ll listen,” he reported.

Thinking about all of this, and knowing who I was dealing with, I figured I should get out while I could. If I had been dealing with an honest person, I might have reconsidered, but I felt more like I was being played. If Business Man was willing to let me lose this job and actually wanted an unhappy teacher at his school, it showed me a great deal about how he felt about me. He was choosing all his own needs above anyone else’s, so I tried not to feel guilty about looking after myself.

An hour later the telephone rang. It was Chinese Grandmother.

“Mr. Business Man is very upset with you,” he said, “he doesn’t like being pushed into a corner and not having choices. He demands that you stay all three months.”

I explained that I was leaving one way or another way. Those were his choices.

I found out later that B. Man had called the Home Office after he’d spoken with Grandmother and complained that they were supporting me again. The President had told him that there was nothing that he could do. If his school was being run in such a way that a foreign teacher felt they needed to leave, it was their right to do so.  He worried about taking on an American and felt that it would be better for me to leave his school. B. Man felt this a betrayal and was even more angry because of it.

Chinese Grandmother was very angry with me, and I started to cry under the pressure of the threats from B. Man.

I also started to dig in my heels. I had tasted a way out and I was not about to give in. Even if I lost the new job, I’d still rather move to a new city and try another school. I knew I would be paid a little less than my present school, but I also knew someone who had visited and worked with the principal. He assured me that it would be worth less money because I would be working 22 hours instead of 40 each week. The atmosphere in this school was excellent. He also said that I would be only teaching children on a regular schedule, would have twice as much planning time, and wouldn’t have to create any new curriculum. He had spoken with the principal and he was happy to have me as he had heard of my reputation as a teacher.

“You could go to work, do your job happily, and have plenty of time for your writing, and exploring. You could see another part of China,” he had said.

My hope was to accept the new job, but this would be a good second choice and it surely beat having to put up with the administration in Li Yang.

I didn’t back down. Chinese Grandmother was so angry he hung up on me.

An hour later he called back again. He was calm once more.

“I have told Mr. Business Man that your mind is made up,” he said.

I was relieved to hear that because it meant that the meeting might be a shorter one if he knew that I was not willing to stay no matter what he offered me.

“I think you need to be calm,” Grandmother said, “don’t be sad, and don’t cry. You worry too much. This will all work out if you are calm.”

Grandmother suggested that maybe some money would help.

A bribe – why hadn’t I thought of that!

Offering a way to let Mr. Business Man punish me and recoup some of his cost might just be the way out of this mess. This was a tiny bit of light in the darkness. I began to put together some figures. I would need first, last and security when I rented an apartment in Shenzhen, and I would need travel money. How much could I afford to give away to get out of this circumstance?

********

When I arrived at the school I saw Chinese Grandmother in the teacher’s office. He smiled at me and asked me if I was ready to go to battle in the next room. He actually used that word. I smiled back at him and told him I was confident we could work something out. Kylie looked pale, as though she were going to prison. I hugged her and thanked her for her assistance. I reminded her that she didn’t have to fight for me or fight for her boss, all that was needed was a calm translation. A little color came back to her cheeks.

At 1:00 p.m. Kylie and I filed into the conference room. Chinese Grandmother was busy with something in the other room. I imagined that he was letting a few minutes go by so that B. Man could make me sit quietly in the room for awhile to let him gather his steam.

Something a little like that happened; B. Man asked Kylie to tell me that he was sorry that I thought he was “yelling” at me yesterday. He suggested that it was a culture difference, that he never really had been angry.

You could have fooled me. I may not be totally familiar with the culture, but I know a ragefull man when I lay eyes on one. I let it pass.

“I am in complete control of my emotions,” he said, “and I am very powerful, I can do anything that I want.”

This guy was just too much. Powerful? Yeah, I got that. But there was something in the way he said it that seemed so put on. His voice was small like a little boy’s voice pretending he was about to invade Mongolia. It looked like an act to me, just like the previous day when he pretended to cry.

Grandmother came into the room then, and I wondered if he was simply listening at the door, waiting for those preliminaries to have taken place. The whole situation felt contrived and planned. B. Man was sitting at the head of the table again. I asked Kylie to sit on one side of the table and I sat on the other. I wanted to be able to watch B. Man’s eyes when he was speaking with her before she translated. I believe you can tell a lot when people speak if you watch their eyes. Grandmother took his place next to Kylie leaving me alone on my side of the table. This was also clearly deliberately done.

I let B Man begin, but he said he had nothing to say to me – not the best start to any meeting.

Before I played my big card, I told him again that if he was willing to match my offer from the other school, I would stay. He laughed.

This was helpful information. Apparently B. Man felt confident enough in his position that he didn’t feel he needed to negotiate with me at all. I also felt that if I told him that and he had the opportunity to laugh it off that he would feel more power over me, giving him face as opposed to losing it.

I played the big card, suggesting that I could leave on Monday for Xian, or we could come to some kind of resolution this afternoon. He threw some theatrics worthy of the most talented of movie stars. He held his head in his hands, he pretended to cry, he insisted it would ruin the school. His anger rose, and he started to raise his voice again. Without prompting, Kylie reminded him he’d better not yell if he wanted me to stay. Considering he had already known this information, his reaction was once again, way over the top.

The meeting went on for two hours without anyone gaining much ground. Mostly he wanted to go over and over how F. Plate hadn’t really done anything wrong by taking our vacation away and he denied that she told me it was a punishment.

“My ex-wife has a temper, but she would never do such a thing,” he said, “you are lying to me.”

I told him that he could ask Grandmother because he had been there. Grandmother denied that she used that word – punish – and said that I had gotten a bad translation from Jason.

I countered that I had asked that she repeat that word to be sure that I understood correctly because I had been so shocked. Jason had confirmed the use of that particular word. Grandmother hadn’t objected at the time. I told him that taking away a vacation was in violation of my contract.

He said that as he read the contract he could always say no to a vacation. The administration had a right to decide when and for how long they would be.

I suggested that he could read the contract that way if he wanted but it still wouldn’t change my mind about what happened.

He started to raise his voice again and loudly complained that I was simply making trouble, no one else had complained about this but me. I told him that no one else dared to complain. He said they were better employees because they didn’t complain.

He said that I was exaggerating when I said that there were problems at the school. The school was just fine as it was. I reminded him that at his “dumpling” meeting he had said that there were issues that he had wanted to address and one of them was with communication. He had said he was willing to listen to the staff express those thoughts. Had he meant that when he said it?

“Yes,” he said, “he had meant that.”

I knew I had to change the game plan to make any progress.

“Okay, I said,” we’ll have to agree to disagree about your right to change vacation schedules and holiday plans, but I will tell you this. Yesterday I told you that all of the staff feel that you and Fashion Plate are difficult to converse with, and that communication is near impossible with you because you are unwilling to believe or hear anyone else s point of view.”

He vehemently denied this.

Perfect.

“That’s an interesting response since that is exactly what is happening right now,” I said. His face fell. For a fleeting second he had showed me that he knew I was right.

It seemed wise to take a break at this point so that he had an opportunity to ponder what had just happened. I was hopeful that he might soften if he had a chance to think this point over. I suggested that he go outside for a cigarette since he hadn’t had one in two hours. I was thinking this would calm him down.

He jumped at the chance to go outside for a smoke.

While he was gone I asked Kylie how she thought things were going. She said that the only thing he had listened to was the last point that I had made. She wasn’t feeling hopeful and she said that she didn’t trust him.

I told her that I thought the best thing I could do when he came back was to return his power to him.

When he came back into the room, he looked worn down, but calmer. He asked me what I wanted next.

I told him, “my fate is actually in your hands at this point. The choices are all yours. You will decide if I will stay at this school, or if I will leave for Xian on Monday morning. I await your decision.”

I let there be silence for several minutes while he felt the power he so enjoys.

Then I said, “of course, there is another option now that I think about it. How much would you charge me to buy my way out of my contract?”

He smiled. Money. The way to B. Man’s heart.

He didn’t hesitate for a second and told me the price would be 8,000 rmb, about $1,500. It was an astronomical sum, much more than he had ever paid for my visa or any of the paperwork. It also covered the costs of my going to Hong Kong, and all his business expenses to hire me. He recouped all his money with a payment that large.

I didn’t hesitate for a second. It meant that I would be working my last 30 days to pay off this debt. I had to earn my freedom, but it felt worth it to me.

“Done,” I said, “so long as you don’t give me any hassles with the paperwork so that my new school has any difficulty. I need a good letter of recommendation, and I need my Expert Certificate cancelled so that they can apply for a new one. If we agree to this, any and all other fees are off the table. We write the agreement up, we both sign it, and put the stamp of the school on it so that it is a legal document.”

Mr. Business Man agreed to this. Then he asked if I’d be willing to train my replacement.

“Of course I will,” I said.

“Good,” he said with a big smile on his face, “because a man from South Africa will be arriving tomorrow. You should leave on February 3^rd instead of the 25^th since you’ve now been replaced.”

I couldn’t believe it. So much for being irreplaceable. B. Man just wanted to punish me by paying over half of my salary to get out of my contract. Fair enough. He’d found my replacement all along and he got to play the winning card. Good for him. He got to save face, and I was done at this school.

I started to laugh.

We shook hands. I reminded him that the job was important so that I could see my children this year. I also told him that the warmer weather might be better for my health. This last point was a concession to allow him to save face. He knew that I had been very sick in October and he believed (as everyone else did) that it was the cold weather that was making me sick. Shenzhen, the city in which I would be working is in the south of China. The weather there is more like Florida; warm in the winter and humid and hot in the summer.

Two days later, we signed the legal document.

The next day Marc, a 28 year old man from South Africa arrived from Hong Kong.

But this story was just getting started….